


For death remembered should be like a mirror

by queenpeletier (areyoumarriedriver)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: 6x02: JSS, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 23:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5068714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyoumarriedriver/pseuds/queenpeletier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We lose anyone?” Sasha asked carefully and they all paused as Rick started to shake his head, but then nodded instead.</p><p>“Not – not us. We lost some people though,” and everyone nodded at that, knowing what he meant. The safe zone lost some people. Not them. It was shitty that there was still a distinction, but there it was. Life or death – they’d protect their own first, and the rest to the best of their ability.</p><p>“You seen Carol?” Daryl finally asked what he’d wanted to ask from the moment he’d pulled in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For death remembered should be like a mirror

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't forgotten my WIP, but I can't not write stuff for the new season? This is why I never do WIPs guys. Wanted this done before Sunday makes it non-canon lol. Unbetaed so forgive any mistakes :)

**_For death remembered should be like a mirror_ **

Everything was finished by the time he, Abe and Sasha make it back – it was fucking eerie – like walking through a ghost town. They’d heard the horn, of course, but with two thirds of the herd shambling after them like they were a fucking happy meal, they couldn’t do anything. Not turn around. Not nothing – they’d had to continue on with the walkers they had control over.

The entire way he’d gripped the handlebars of his bike, everything in him screaming to turn back, go – _run_ back to Alexandria. His whole family was there – Asskicker and Carl and Carol. All he could do though, was amble along, itching to kill something, to fight against a threat against his family – and do nothing but what he was doing.

He was glad Abe and Sasha were with him though. He’d speed up a touch and ask them what they thought – how far since the green point. Twenty miles felt like fucking forever, and they were just as antsy as him.  By the time they lost the herd, looped around and back tracked back to the safe zone, everything was finished.

There were bodies in the street – not just walkers, though there were a fair few of those littered around too – but people they knew. And bodies they didn’t know – Daryl could see legs and arms strewn in the streets and everywhere around them, people were trying to clean up. Rick was on the gate, and he gripped his shoulder when he came through.

“You guys made it? The herd?”

“Left those fuckers behind, just according to plan,” Abe boasted as he stepped out of the car. “Sure looks like this was a shit show. What the hell happened?”

Rick wiped a hand over his face, shaking his head. “I’m not 100% sure – there was an attack. Those wolves. Slammed in to the fence with a semi – that was the horn. Drew some of that herd here. But the wolves were all dead or gone by the time Michonne and I got back. Not sure what all happened, but we just finished killing the walkers.”

“We lose anyone?” Sasha asked carefully and they all paused as Rick started to shake his head, but then nodded instead.

“Not – not _us_. We lost some people though,” and everyone nodded at that, knowing what he meant. The safe zone lost some people. Not _them_. It was shitty that there was still a distinction, but there it was. Life or death – they’d protect their own first, and the rest to the best of their ability.

“You seen Carol?” Daryl finally asked what he’d wanted to ask from the moment he’d pulled in.

“Yeah, a while ago. She was –” Rick paused and shook his head for a moment – “unbelievable. I think her Susie Homemaker act is blown though,” he laughed for a moment and then sobered quickly. “I think she went to check on Carl and Judith – maybe get cleaned up a bit. You gonna check on her?” Daryl nodded in response and Rick nodded back. “Send Carl down, will you? Tell Carol to stay with Judy, she’s done enough today from what I heard.”

“What'd you hear?” Daryl cocked his head in curiosity and Rick paused for a moment.

“I don’t know what all happened with those wolves, but Maggie said – she said Carol took out more than anybody else. Got to the armoury, stopped them before they could start.”

“Shit,” Daryl nodded just once, and reached out, his hand patting Rick’s side. “I’ll be down once I know she’s okay.”

“No problem, brother. We got things in hand here too – you did your part today too you know? I know it didn’t feel like a lot, but it was.” With a nod, Rick stepped back and Daryl nodded to Abe and Sasha before he kicked off, driving the bike around the debris and navigating to their garage.

He was off the bike in a moment, heading out of the garage and up the porch steps when he noticed the body across the street. It was that lady – fucking – fucking – _fuck_ , he couldn’t remember her name. The one who bitched about boxed pasta this whole time. He’d often told Aaron he was gonna make Carol invite her over just so he could feed her squirrel. He felt a twinge of guilt over the sentiment now, but pushed it aside. People died – that was life now. When he pushed through the door he was greeted by a rifle in his face, and Carl’s determined glare behind it.

“Shit, sorry Daryl! Thank god you guys are back – everyone okay?” Daryl nodded and grunted in response as Carl lowered the weapon.

“Your Dad wants you. Said Carol can stay with Asskicker – they upstairs?”

“Carol’s in the shower – but she’s been in there a while. Judith’s asleep. Slept right through the whole first attack, you know? Only took like an hour before Carol cleared them out. She was… real quiet when she went upstairs though. You good here to watch Judith?” Carl hefted the rifle strap over his shoulder and looked at Daryl in question.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He watched Carl leave, shaking his head and wondering when the hell the kid grew up without him noticing. “Bout damn time,” he muttered to himself as he moved over to the kitchen to wash up a bit, before he grabbed the monitor on the counter and headed up the stairs swiftly. He could hear the shower running, but he could also hear another noise under it and he paused for a moment, opening the door to check on Judith, who was sleeping like the dead, all sprawled out in her crib. He left her door ajar and made his way to the washroom, hesitating in the hall with his hand on the knob.

Closer, he could hear the other sound – crying. His chest tightened and he turned the knob, easing the door open. Dirty clothes were dropped on the bathroom floor and the sound of her heaving sobs were clearer now, and they just about broke his heart as he crept in to the room. “Carol?”

There was a clatter and a few muttered curses from behind the shower curtain. After a moment and a few sniffles, she responded. “Daryl?” Her head whipped out of the shower – uncaring about the redness of her face or her swollen eyes. “Oh thank god you’re back – everyone’s okay?” He suspected if she wasn’t buck ass naked in there, she’d have crawled out to check on him personally, and he felt a fleeting regret that she wouldn’t.

“Herd’s gone – what we managed to keep anyway. You alright?” He peered at her, searching her too-blue eyes as she shrugged – or he assumed that’s what the jostling of the curtain was. “You ain’t alright, are you?”

Her mouth trembled at that and she looked down, but he could see the tears gathering on her eyelashes as he nodded. “Asskicker’s asleep. Everyone else is on clean up duty – Rick said you stay here with her. You done enough.”

She looked up at that, sorrow lining her face. “What’d you hear?”

“That you took care of shit,” he shrugged as he began to pick up the clothes littering the floor. “You even bring your towel in?” When he looked up, she was staring at him silently, but finally shook her head.

“I had to – I just had to get clean.” She finished in a soft voice and he nodded. Blood drying on your skin – not walker blood but human blood – was the worst thing ever. Felt like a hair shirt of a punishment for protecting your own.

“I’ll get it. Get some clothes for you too.” She smiled tremulously at that and he paused by the curtain, desperately ignoring the fact that nothing separated her skin from him but a flimsy piece of fabric. “Hey,” he spoke to catch her attention and she looked up at him solemnly. “You protected our family. Protected as many of these people as you could. You did good today, Carol – don’t doubt that.” She swallowed at that and he nodded before he back out of the room, with the handful of clothes.

He threw it all in to the hamper in the hall before he opened the door to her room carefully. It wasn’t very big and he felt like he was doing something wrong, pulling open the top drawers to rifle through her underthings. He did very little rifling though, and more grabbing whatever was closest, slamming the drawer closed as soon as he had what she needed. The second drawer he opened held her meagre pants and shirts. He hesitated here, his hands hovering over the slacks she’d taken to wearing since they’d arrived at the safe zone.

But her cover was blown – and he fucking hated all those clothes – so he grabbed her khaki pants she’d arrived in – clean now and serviceable. He also took a white shirt he’d not seen her in before, but at least there weren’t any fucking _flowers_ on it.

That done, he looked around, pulling open the closet and even kneeling to check under the bed before he unearthed what he was looking for. Brown leather and buckles – he pulled the boots out with a grin. “There’s my girl,” he grinned as he gathered everything up, plus her towel and brought it in to her. The shower was silent and he stepped in with a frown. “Carol?”

“Still in here. Towel please,” she stuck a hand out of the shower curtain and he passed the terry cloth off to her, listening to the sound of her toweling her body off quickly. “Clothes? Not socks though, I’ll get them out there.”

“I can leave, let you get dressed-”

“No, I’m okay!” She spoke quickly and he frowned as he passed the clothes through the curtain as well. There was some muffled cursing and the sound of rustling fabric for a few minutes before she opened the curtain and looked at him, standing there with her boots and socks in hand. She stepped out of the tub and he tried to pretend he was looking at her bare toes on the bathmat. Her feet were fucking long and delicate looking and fuck if he didn’t have to shift away, dragging his eyes to the generic print on the wall. “Mask’s off now, huh?” She took her socks from him and he placed her boots on the floor as she rolled them on.

“I’m glad. Can I burn that fucking sweater?” He grinned and she huffed out a sigh, rolling her eyes.

“Can I hose you down yet? I mean there _is_ a shower right here – I’m sure I could scrape a year or two of dirt off you…”

He laughed at that, crossing his arms and leaning against the vanity. “I’ve showered, alright? Stop.”

She paused, hallway through zipping up her boot and took a deep breath, looking at him with a stricken expression. He crouched in front of her immediately, pushing her hands aside and sliding the zip up himself. “ _Stop_ ,” he stressed and she nodded stiffly. “How many?”

“I uh – I don’t know. Eight – ten maybe? Morgan said – he said we didn’t have to kill them, but I-”

“Morgan ain’t been through what we’ve been through. It’s different, and we can’t spare them all. They come back – we know that. Hey –” He finished zipping up her second boot and touched her chin lightly, turning her face toward him. “We _know_ that. You kill to live now, and the enemy is anyone who ain’t on your side of the fence sometimes. We help people too – we look for the good ones. But those guys? Planting traps and tying little girls to trees just to watch them die slow? They weren’t human no more Carol. You did what you had to. Ain’t no shame in that.” She licked her lips and nodded, her hands reaching for his and clutching them tightly.

“I feel like I’m falling apart,” her voice was soft and thread and he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers, feeling little trickles of water from her curls creep down his own skin as he squeezed her hands.

“It’s okay. You can, you know. Even if it’s only in front of me. You told me out there – I had to feel it. You were right, and now it’s my turn. You can fall apart a little, darlin’ – I won’t tell no one.” Her breathing hitched at that and she tugged her hands out of his, sliding them over his shoulders as she pulled him closer. He stumbled on to his knees at the motion, but gripped her tightly, burying his face in her shoulder just like he had that day after Terminus. And just like then, everything felt a bit _better_ for it. He could breathe easier and the weight on his frame eased when she was in his arms. He could feel her frame shaking, her face buried in his neck and hot tears on his skin, but he didn’t let go. Didn’t shift a bit, didn’t do anything but sweep his hands up her back slowly, carefully. “I got you, Carol.” She eased in his arms at that, her body seeming to give in, all of her weight falling in to him as he held her tightly.

“I got you.”


End file.
